"Sometimes. Just sometimes I throw my hands which in the air. 'Where is the mayo?" January 25, 2011

Yeah. I watched anime and hung out with Trevor, Gunnar, Sarah, Hippo, Jackie, Austin. The usual. But you know what? I don't want to talk about that. Or how wet my feet are. I'm fed up. I'm fed up with being treated with less respect than any of our other friends because of my age. I'm fed up with not being able to even be truthful about my age because it would only make things worse. I'm tired of being ganged up on. I'm tired of being 'the girl who doesn't go here.' or 'the non-high schooler.' Okay. I get it. I know it's weird at first. And I'm sympathetic. But is that really the only thing you get out of knowing me. If the roles were reversed, whether is would be about me being ganged up on or about my age, I would never act that way. You know what the worst part is? The one who I'm closest to is the only who does it when it's just the two of us.
I would never do things just to piss any of them off. I don't have the heart to, and if I did they'd just hurt me. But because they have these advantages, they think it's okay. And despite the fact that I have seriously brought it up to all of them, they don't stop.
You want to know something else? I hate that they say things to me and then laugh because it was some inside trick that they won't tell me. ESPECIALLY Gunnar. God knows I think he's amazing. And I don't hate him for this, but it's not particularly fun for me. It's really unfair to me, and I could talk about it all the time and it probably wouldn't even change. That's freaking skippy. I know I sound like a whiny bitch for this. And maybe I am just a whiny bitch. But who else was I going to tell it to? The usual people are the ones I'm bitching about.
Oh and, if I was eavesdropping on the conversation correctly, I'm being left out of plans. Makes me feel great inside. Just awesome.
It's not easy posting this. Knowing someone you love will see it. But I promised myself that my blog wouldn't be compromised because Hippo reads it.
And now I'm going to post this, and Hippo's going to feel bad and the others just won't care. They won't even see this. And I can't tell them. And even if Hippo shows them, it's just going to look bad on my part.
Today I saw: Ouran High School Host Club, for the first time in ages.
Today I heard: New Iron and Wine album. Awesome.
Today I smelled: Take out that I didn't eat. Yep, yep
Today I touched: Table in the French room. Different, but nice.
Today I tasted: Not much, thinking about it.