"Cheer up, alright?" December 31, 2011- New Year's Eve

Here’s to the bad things.

The tears and the cringes and the moments you can’t get out of your head.

Here’s to making mistakes

To living and learning and going on even when it’s hard

Here’s to the amazing things

Dancing and singing and eating and gaming

Here’s to the wittiest remarks-

365 of them

Here’s to bad fights

and here’s to letting that all go.

I've never been one for New Years, but I think there are some really interesting things about it. I love the idea that when the clock strikes twelve I will be new again. The parts of me that are hard to adore will be shattered as that ball drops, and I will have a chance.

And so I hope that I spend a lot of time doing what I love. I hope I sing more and write more and love more. I hope that I cry more and that I trust more. And most of all, I hope to learn more. I hope to bother Powell with questions and to have interesting discussions with Hippo and Jacob for the whole year through.

2012, I am not asking anything of you.

2011, "I miss you already!"

Today's rating: 8.8

Listening to: We Are Young- Fun

Currently reading: The Silmarillion- JRR Tolkien

Mostly Played iTunes Song: White Black Page- Mumford & Sons

"Writin' it down, bro" December 30, 2011

1) What did you do in 2011 that you'd never done before?

I blogged everyday!

2) Did you keep your New Year Resolutions?
Yes! I blogged everyday- this being my 364

3) Did anyone close to you give birth?
No, actually.

4) Did anyone close to you die?
Grandmother

5)What countries did you visit?

Nowhere special.

6) What would you like to have in 2012 that you lacked in 2011?
I'd like to calm down more, and do more of what makes me happy.

7) What date from 2011 will be etched upon your memory, and why?
So, so, so many! June 7th, I'll say because it's the day before Sarah left. Me, Sarah, Hippo and Johnny had the best time, though.

8) What was your biggest achievement of the year?

I made it through, really. I got through friend drama, and boyfriend drama, and all kinds of things that were majorly stressful and hurtful. But, I did it.

9) What was your biggest failure?

I allowed circumstances to determine my happiness. I left my happiness be dictated by others. 

10) Did you suffer illness of injury?

I got the flu. I really hurt my knees. Nothing too bad, though.

11)What was the best thing you bought?

I bought lots of good things this year! Any thing I bought which I gave as a present. We'll go with that.

12)Where did most of your money go?

Food. No contest.

13) What did you get really, really, really exicted about?
Comic books.
Enough said.

14)What song will always remind you of 2011?
I have a few: Someone Like You- Adele, Moves Like Jagger- Maroon Five, Bohemian Rhapsody- Queen

15)  Compared to this time last year, are you?
happier or sadder - Happier
older or wiser - Wiser
thinner or fatter - Thinner
richer or poorer - Richer

16) What do you wish you'd done more of?
Taking care of myself and doing what's best for me.

17) What do you wish you had done less of?
Being stressed, being upset, being massively angry.

18) How did you spend Christmas?
Anxious as hell, with family.

19) Did you fall in love in 2011?
Yes. With music, with learning.

And with some people.

20) What was your favorite TV program?
Quite Interesting! I didn't stumble upon it until November, but whatever.

21)Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
Hate is a really, really big word in my book. I don't hate anyone. But, there are people I was friends with in December of 2010 that I am no longer friends with.

22)What was the best book you read?
The Book Thief- Marcus Zusak.

23) What was your greatest musical discovery?
Mumford & Sons, Defiance Ohio

24) What did you want and get?
I wanted to make memories. I made them- more than I can count.

25)What did you want and not get?
This is what Buddhists call, 'a question wrongly put'

26) What as your favorite film of the year?
Pirate Radio/ The Boat that Rocked. It didn't come out this year, but it was really important in my year.

27) What did you do on your birthday? 
I spent the day with Hippo, which is always amazing.

28) What kept you sane?
AC/DC, friends, music, writing, reading, learning.

29) Tell a life lesson you learned.
That it's okay not to be okay. That sometimes it does get hard and you don't have to go through that alone.

30) What song lyric sums up your year?

"If you're one of us, then roll with us...

We're dancing like we du-du-du-du-dumb

Our bodies going nu-nu-nu-nu-numb

We'll be forever youn-youn-youn-young

You know we're superstars,

we are who we are!"

We Are Who We Are- Ke$ha

Today's rating: 6.7

Listening to: We Are Who We Are- Ke$ha

Currently reading: The Silmarillion- JRR Tolkien

Mostly Played iTunes Song: White Black Page- Mumford & Sons

"It dries them faster." December 29, 2011

 Dear ex-bestfriend,

Look, okay. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry and you will never know the bounds of my apologies. I’m not sorry for hurting you, I’m sorry that you’ve had so much hurt in your life. You’re so sad and so upset and I hate that I can’t fix that. And, I’m sorry our friendship ended so abruptly. 

But, I get to see you almost everyday now. And you’re one of my favorites. You make me laugh, and you’ve seen me cry, and I love you. So much.

Much love,

Liz

Today's rating: 5.5

Listening to: White Blank Page- Mumford & Sons

Currently reading: The Silmarillion- JRR Tolkien

Mostly Played iTunes Song: White Black Page- Mumford & Sons

"My Little Pony?" "My Little Pony." December 28, 2011

There had always been this thing inside me that wanted to prove myself. In everything- in school, at work, at home. Everything in life, I’ve always wanted to do, and do it well. I’m very bad about validating myself on these kind of things. Because of this, I was always telling myself that I didn’t need my meds.

After almost a month off of them, I can safely tell you that I need them. Badly.

I hate, hate, hate thinking that I’m dependent, per se, on my meds. Not addicted, or anything. Just knowing that I’m not as strong as I told myself I would be. Meds aren’t helpful, they’re necessary. 

So, I mostly stopped taking my meds because I didn’t want to refill my prescription after I lost them. (Long story.) But, there was also that added benefit of the adventure of seeing how long I could go without them. I just wanted to know. I’d always wanted to stop taking them and see if anyone would notice.

They did.

And I think the thing I hate the most about this is that people did notice. They so noticed, and they worried. I had a panic attack in Powells room. Powells room! I have just been reliving that memory since it happened because I feel horrible. I thought I had a handle on this. I can’t believe I lost control like that.

I am a big kid. I can take care of myself.

I’m sorry.

Today's rating: 8.0

Listening to: Bad Kids- Black Lips

Currently reading: The Silmarillion- JRR Tolkien

Mostly Played iTunes Song: Little Lion Man- Mumford & Sons

"The question, Questions, is when?" December 27, 2011

Someone asked me who my favorite comic book character is.

Oh, you have certainly opened a can of worms. 

I love Dick Grayson.

Yes, yes. Go snicker. I love Dick. It's hilarious.
But, I don't think he's my favorite.

I have a huge fondness of all the Robins, especially Stephanie Brown and Tim Drake. Oh, and Jason Todd. And Damian Wayne! 

Yeah... I love them all.

I think Cassandra Cain is brilliant. And, I adore Dinah Lance and Cassie Sandsmark.

I love Steve Rodgers and Tony Stark, as well as Wade Wilson. (See, I'm not all about DC these days)

But, I also love Bart Allen.

Clark Kent is adorable and Lois Lane- on my god Lois Lane is awesome.
I could go on forever

And, these are all going to be meaningless names unless you like comic books.

So, uh...

I'm sorry...

Today's rating: 3.9

Listening to: Someone like You- Adele

Currently reading: The Silmarillion- JRR Tolkien

Mostly Played iTunes Song: Little Lion Man- Mumford & Sons

"Why can I imagine that so vividly?" December 26, 2011- Boxing Day

For the first time in my life, I've spent Christmas without my father. Admittedly, I traveled last year, and was therefore without him. But, he wasn't away, it was me. I guess it felt different, which is probably bullshit, but I digress. 

My father worked six days a week doing a city job. His drive to work took two or so hours, and he worked from six in the morning to ten at in the evening for almost my entire childhood.

Time with him was rare. 

My Dad instilled so many loves in me. He was a music freak (still is), and he taught me that music is a part of life. Essential for happiness. He provided me with what I needed to start playing music, and has always guided me.
Despite my mother being the one who always read to us when I was young, my father was the one who encouraged reading in my adolescence. Always being open to buying me books, and giving me a love of comics.
I don't know what I'm getting at here other than: I just really love my dad.

Today's rating: 4.8

Listening to: Nothing!

Currently reading: The Silmarillion- JRR Tolkien

Mostly Played iTunes Song: The Sound of Silence- Simon and Garfunkel

"You will make da' magics in that" December 25, 2011- Christmas Day!

This year has been a... shaky one.

But, if anything, I've had a lot of wonderful experiences.
I've danced a lot, and sang a lot, laughed a lot, and learned even more.

I'm so thankful for some of the memories I've made this year.
I hate to be cheesy on Christmas, but I can't help myself. I'm cheesy all the time, though, if we're honest.

I didn't get to spend Christmas with my real family, (Austin, Hippo, Sarah and so forth), or my other real family, (Dad), but I had a nice day nevertheless. 

Expect more cheesy posts while the year closes.

I hope your day with lovely, Happy Christmas!

Today's rating: 4.5

Listening to: Sherlock Holmes vs Jack the Ripper Part 13

Currently reading: The Silmarillion- JRR Tolkien

Mostly Played iTunes Song: Anxious and Worrying- Defiance Ohio