"Cheer up, alright?" December 31, 2011- New Year's Eve

Here’s to the bad things.

The tears and the cringes and the moments you can’t get out of your head.

Here’s to making mistakes

To living and learning and going on even when it’s hard

Here’s to the amazing things

Dancing and singing and eating and gaming

Here’s to the wittiest remarks-

365 of them

Here’s to bad fights

and here’s to letting that all go.

I've never been one for New Years, but I think there are some really interesting things about it. I love the idea that when the clock strikes twelve I will be new again. The parts of me that are hard to adore will be shattered as that ball drops, and I will have a chance.

And so I hope that I spend a lot of time doing what I love. I hope I sing more and write more and love more. I hope that I cry more and that I trust more. And most of all, I hope to learn more. I hope to bother Powell with questions and to have interesting discussions with Hippo and Jacob for the whole year through.

2012, I am not asking anything of you.

2011, "I miss you already!"

Today's rating: 8.8

Listening to: We Are Young- Fun

Currently reading: The Silmarillion- JRR Tolkien

Mostly Played iTunes Song: White Black Page- Mumford & Sons

"Writin' it down, bro" December 30, 2011

1) What did you do in 2011 that you'd never done before?

I blogged everyday!

2) Did you keep your New Year Resolutions?
Yes! I blogged everyday- this being my 364

3) Did anyone close to you give birth?
No, actually.

4) Did anyone close to you die?
Grandmother

5)What countries did you visit?

Nowhere special.

6) What would you like to have in 2012 that you lacked in 2011?
I'd like to calm down more, and do more of what makes me happy.

7) What date from 2011 will be etched upon your memory, and why?
So, so, so many! June 7th, I'll say because it's the day before Sarah left. Me, Sarah, Hippo and Johnny had the best time, though.

8) What was your biggest achievement of the year?

I made it through, really. I got through friend drama, and boyfriend drama, and all kinds of things that were majorly stressful and hurtful. But, I did it.

9) What was your biggest failure?

I allowed circumstances to determine my happiness. I left my happiness be dictated by others. 

10) Did you suffer illness of injury?

I got the flu. I really hurt my knees. Nothing too bad, though.

11)What was the best thing you bought?

I bought lots of good things this year! Any thing I bought which I gave as a present. We'll go with that.

12)Where did most of your money go?

Food. No contest.

13) What did you get really, really, really exicted about?
Comic books.
Enough said.

14)What song will always remind you of 2011?
I have a few: Someone Like You- Adele, Moves Like Jagger- Maroon Five, Bohemian Rhapsody- Queen

15)  Compared to this time last year, are you?
happier or sadder - Happier
older or wiser - Wiser
thinner or fatter - Thinner
richer or poorer - Richer

16) What do you wish you'd done more of?
Taking care of myself and doing what's best for me.

17) What do you wish you had done less of?
Being stressed, being upset, being massively angry.

18) How did you spend Christmas?
Anxious as hell, with family.

19) Did you fall in love in 2011?
Yes. With music, with learning.

And with some people.

20) What was your favorite TV program?
Quite Interesting! I didn't stumble upon it until November, but whatever.

21)Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
Hate is a really, really big word in my book. I don't hate anyone. But, there are people I was friends with in December of 2010 that I am no longer friends with.

22)What was the best book you read?
The Book Thief- Marcus Zusak.

23) What was your greatest musical discovery?
Mumford & Sons, Defiance Ohio

24) What did you want and get?
I wanted to make memories. I made them- more than I can count.

25)What did you want and not get?
This is what Buddhists call, 'a question wrongly put'

26) What as your favorite film of the year?
Pirate Radio/ The Boat that Rocked. It didn't come out this year, but it was really important in my year.

27) What did you do on your birthday? 
I spent the day with Hippo, which is always amazing.

28) What kept you sane?
AC/DC, friends, music, writing, reading, learning.

29) Tell a life lesson you learned.
That it's okay not to be okay. That sometimes it does get hard and you don't have to go through that alone.

30) What song lyric sums up your year?

"If you're one of us, then roll with us...

We're dancing like we du-du-du-du-dumb

Our bodies going nu-nu-nu-nu-numb

We'll be forever youn-youn-youn-young

You know we're superstars,

we are who we are!"

We Are Who We Are- Ke$ha

Today's rating: 6.7

Listening to: We Are Who We Are- Ke$ha

Currently reading: The Silmarillion- JRR Tolkien

Mostly Played iTunes Song: White Black Page- Mumford & Sons

"It dries them faster." December 29, 2011

 Dear ex-bestfriend,

Look, okay. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry and you will never know the bounds of my apologies. I’m not sorry for hurting you, I’m sorry that you’ve had so much hurt in your life. You’re so sad and so upset and I hate that I can’t fix that. And, I’m sorry our friendship ended so abruptly. 

But, I get to see you almost everyday now. And you’re one of my favorites. You make me laugh, and you’ve seen me cry, and I love you. So much.

Much love,

Liz

Today's rating: 5.5

Listening to: White Blank Page- Mumford & Sons

Currently reading: The Silmarillion- JRR Tolkien

Mostly Played iTunes Song: White Black Page- Mumford & Sons

"My Little Pony?" "My Little Pony." December 28, 2011

There had always been this thing inside me that wanted to prove myself. In everything- in school, at work, at home. Everything in life, I’ve always wanted to do, and do it well. I’m very bad about validating myself on these kind of things. Because of this, I was always telling myself that I didn’t need my meds.

After almost a month off of them, I can safely tell you that I need them. Badly.

I hate, hate, hate thinking that I’m dependent, per se, on my meds. Not addicted, or anything. Just knowing that I’m not as strong as I told myself I would be. Meds aren’t helpful, they’re necessary. 

So, I mostly stopped taking my meds because I didn’t want to refill my prescription after I lost them. (Long story.) But, there was also that added benefit of the adventure of seeing how long I could go without them. I just wanted to know. I’d always wanted to stop taking them and see if anyone would notice.

They did.

And I think the thing I hate the most about this is that people did notice. They so noticed, and they worried. I had a panic attack in Powells room. Powells room! I have just been reliving that memory since it happened because I feel horrible. I thought I had a handle on this. I can’t believe I lost control like that.

I am a big kid. I can take care of myself.

I’m sorry.

Today's rating: 8.0

Listening to: Bad Kids- Black Lips

Currently reading: The Silmarillion- JRR Tolkien

Mostly Played iTunes Song: Little Lion Man- Mumford & Sons

"The question, Questions, is when?" December 27, 2011

Someone asked me who my favorite comic book character is.

Oh, you have certainly opened a can of worms. 

I love Dick Grayson.

Yes, yes. Go snicker. I love Dick. It's hilarious.
But, I don't think he's my favorite.

I have a huge fondness of all the Robins, especially Stephanie Brown and Tim Drake. Oh, and Jason Todd. And Damian Wayne! 

Yeah... I love them all.

I think Cassandra Cain is brilliant. And, I adore Dinah Lance and Cassie Sandsmark.

I love Steve Rodgers and Tony Stark, as well as Wade Wilson. (See, I'm not all about DC these days)

But, I also love Bart Allen.

Clark Kent is adorable and Lois Lane- on my god Lois Lane is awesome.
I could go on forever

And, these are all going to be meaningless names unless you like comic books.

So, uh...

I'm sorry...

Today's rating: 3.9

Listening to: Someone like You- Adele

Currently reading: The Silmarillion- JRR Tolkien

Mostly Played iTunes Song: Little Lion Man- Mumford & Sons

"Why can I imagine that so vividly?" December 26, 2011- Boxing Day

For the first time in my life, I've spent Christmas without my father. Admittedly, I traveled last year, and was therefore without him. But, he wasn't away, it was me. I guess it felt different, which is probably bullshit, but I digress. 

My father worked six days a week doing a city job. His drive to work took two or so hours, and he worked from six in the morning to ten at in the evening for almost my entire childhood.

Time with him was rare. 

My Dad instilled so many loves in me. He was a music freak (still is), and he taught me that music is a part of life. Essential for happiness. He provided me with what I needed to start playing music, and has always guided me.
Despite my mother being the one who always read to us when I was young, my father was the one who encouraged reading in my adolescence. Always being open to buying me books, and giving me a love of comics.
I don't know what I'm getting at here other than: I just really love my dad.

Today's rating: 4.8

Listening to: Nothing!

Currently reading: The Silmarillion- JRR Tolkien

Mostly Played iTunes Song: The Sound of Silence- Simon and Garfunkel

"You will make da' magics in that" December 25, 2011- Christmas Day!

This year has been a... shaky one.

But, if anything, I've had a lot of wonderful experiences.
I've danced a lot, and sang a lot, laughed a lot, and learned even more.

I'm so thankful for some of the memories I've made this year.
I hate to be cheesy on Christmas, but I can't help myself. I'm cheesy all the time, though, if we're honest.

I didn't get to spend Christmas with my real family, (Austin, Hippo, Sarah and so forth), or my other real family, (Dad), but I had a nice day nevertheless. 

Expect more cheesy posts while the year closes.

I hope your day with lovely, Happy Christmas!

Today's rating: 4.5

Listening to: Sherlock Holmes vs Jack the Ripper Part 13

Currently reading: The Silmarillion- JRR Tolkien

Mostly Played iTunes Song: Anxious and Worrying- Defiance Ohio

"We're gonna have the hap-hap-happiest Christmas since Bing Crosby tap danced with Danny fucking Kaye." December 24, 2011- Christmas Eve

Once there was a little girl who worried too much. And nobody knew it, but it tore her up inside. And she tired to use her words on those around her, but the magic of words has yet to dawn on a lot of people, so it didn't work. And she tried, and tried to deal with her family, even though they didn't understand, but she couldn't. And they grew more vapid, and she grew more anxious. And now she sits in her room alone on the holidays while she can hear her family talking about her.

Today's rating: 2.3

Listening to: Run- Vampire Weekend

Currently reading: The Silmarillion- JRR Tolkien

Mostly Played iTunes Song: Anxious and Worrying- Defiance Ohio

"They never bark when they're going to attack you, it's when they go quiet, that's when you have to worry." "Germans?" December 23, 2011

Magic was taught to me by a professor, but not one of a world differing from ours. A professor whom kindly shared a world much better than the one we're in, that he's created with nothing but his own mind. He brought to everyone who chose to believe his words, a shelter. Somewhere much better than the world we live in.

Tolkien made me believe in magic. But, a magic so much more special than the palpable one.  It carries in its essence the purity of emotion. A magic that should exist but doesn't, because of the poor nature of humans. It's almost impossible to find these days and I live and breathe for it.

There's not a single part of Tolkien's stories that lacks reality.  I have poured them into my life since I was a child, and they run in my blood and enrich my life in ways some, unfortunately, can't imagine. 

Reality cannot suppress my world because I surround myself with words and let myself get lost in them.

Today's rating: 3.8

Listening to: I'll Be Back- Julia Nunes

Currently reading: The Silmarillion- JRR Tolkien

Mostly Played iTunes Song: Anxious and Worrying- Defiance Ohio

"I wanna play. We should be hot sexy nerd girls together. Giving boys everywhere nerdwood" December 22, 2011

Dear Bat-Santa,

I have been very good this year.
And while I am new to DC comics, I still have a couple of requests.

I would like for Wonder Woman to stay fantastic.

I would like for them to reboot Cassandra Cain, and I would also like Bruce to remember that he has a daughter called Cassandra, and to call her sometime.
I would like for there to be some out-of-continuity stories with Barbra Gordon as Oracle, preferably dating Nightwing or Black Canary. And more out of continuity stories in general.
I would like to have more Bat!hugs and more Daddy!Bats, and I would like for lots of adorable Lois/ Clark moments. 

I would also like more women of color, and more LGBT woman in first and second tier comics.

Thank you, Bat-Santa.

Today's rating: 3.2

Listening to: 3 Chicks Review Comics: Episode 032

Currently reading: The Silmarillion- JRR Tolkien

Mostly Played iTunes Song: Anxious and Worrying- Defiance Ohio

"I'm looking at your road on Google maps." December 21, 2011

"Far over the misty mountains cold..." December 20, 2011

Taking note from the lovely, Kathy, I am going to tell you ten books I want to receive from Santa this year.

(In no real order)

Science Ink: Tattoos for the Science Obsessed by Mary Roach

Psychiatric Tales: Eleven Graphic Stores about Mental Illness by Darryl Cunningham

Batman: The Killing Joke by Alan Moore and Brian Bolland

The Batman Files by Brain Bolland

Batman and Robin vol. 1-3 by Grant Morrison

Yeah, okay. that's five. Well, technically it's seven. Regardless.
Holy addiction, Batman!

Today's rating: 4.6

Listening to: He is Mad- Julia Nunes

Currently reading: The Silmarillion- JRR Tolkien

Mostly Played iTunes Song: Anxious and Worrying- Defiance Ohio

"Heard you're home alone" "News travels fast" "The Internet and all" "Practically magic" December 19, 2011

"I am the fastest cephalopod in this western community." December 18, 2011

You're sad.

And you're sick and tired of everyone and everything.

And for once in your life, you want things to go right bug they don't.

But, you're not the only one.

And just like the rest of us sad ones, you'll get up everyday, with almost nothing to look forward to.

And you'll keep dreaming of something better than this.

But, anything could be better than this.
You're so brave.

You're my little solider and I love you.

Please keep fighting.

Today's rating: 3.5

Listening to: Beach Baby- Bon Iver

Currently reading: The Silmarillion- JRR Tolkien

Mostly Played iTunes Song: Anxious and Worrying- Defiance Ohio

"No, I'm not getting you a churro." December 17, 2011

I think I’d like to be an author.

Because, when I was a kid I had this theory that all of these authors got together after they died

Tolkien

Lewis

Yeats

Shakespeare

The whole lot of them would get together and share a pot of tea

And that just sounds nice.

Today's rating: 3.6

Listening to: Speech Patterns- Toby Foster

Currently reading: The Silmarillion- JRR Tolkien

Mostly Played iTunes Song: Anxious and Worrying- Defiance Ohio

"Don't give up hope just yet" December 16, 2011

"NO! I will snuggle you" December 15, 2011

"I used to sleep like you. Then I got a tea to the face." December 14, 2011

I want to fill my life with words.

Books, letters, syllables.

I want to let my own self be true with Shakespeare, and I want to be the comforter of others in my own distresses with Jane Austin. 

Because words are important.

People say that talk is cheap, that pictures are worth a thousand words, but I know that's not true. 

Words have filled my life in times of need, and I have been on the upmost adventures with them.

I've ended wars, and saved lives, including my own, in pages.

I've found so many ways to express myself in other peoples language, and taught myself to create my own.

I have stood on the shoulders of giants with Isaac Newton and I have learned a lot up here.

Join me?

Today's rating: 4.6

Listening to: Afterwards- Danielle Ate the Sandwich

Currently reading: The Silmarillion- JRR Tolkien

Mostly Played iTunes Song: Anxious and Worrying- Defiance Ohio

"Takin' pictures of Liz gettin' pulled by Trevor" December 13, 2011

"Wow, I am such a stalker" December 12, 2011

"WORK HARD CHUGGA CHOO" December 11, 2011

"Tell her I read her for fun" December 10, 2011

I'm an atheist.

And my biggest pet peeve about that statement is the stigma it carries.

Particularly, it assumes that I don't believe in anything.

I believe in people.

I believe in the people getting pepper-sprayed at sit-down protests, and the people who are fighting to keep their people free at the cost of their lives. 

I believe in courage.

  I believe in standing up and fighting for what is right, and sticking to your guns. I believe in being afraid and doing it anyway.

I believe in ideas.

I believe that thoughts can change the word.

Words, words, words. We've got more of them than ever and I believe in putting them to use. What more do we owe Shakespeare than to use the word 'barefaced'?

I believe that people can do what's right without any reason other than the fact they know it's right.

I believe that people are amazing, brave, and very, very smart all on their own.

I am an atheist. But, I'm far from cynical.

I know the power of people because I see it everyday in everything I do.

We clearly don't need a god to be great.

Today's rating: 4.8

Listening to: The Debt- Julia Nunes

Currently reading: The Silmarillion- JRR Tolkien

Mostly Played iTunes Song: Anxious and Worrying- Defiance Ohio