"Cynisism isn't wisdom. It's a lazy way to say that you've been burned." April 30, 2011- BEDA- Day 30

If you've been been chronicling my tales with me, you'll know that I spend a rather large percent of my after school hours pestering my Academic Decathlon coach, Mr. Powell with questions. There are on anything from particle physics to linguistics, and Powell generally never fails to deliver. He's one of the smartest people I know, and honestly, he's changed my life and perspective a lot in these past eight months of school.

Powell is often telling me that while Einstein was a genius, he was also a person. And that geniuses are only geniuses in certain fields.

I'm thankful for this not only because it's a really interesting thing to say, but it's knocked a really negative attitude that I once had on intelligence.

Think about it, Georg Cantor revolutionised many ideas on infinity, but he also though that Sir Francis Bacon wrote Shakespeare's plays.

Beggers can't be choosers and genius isn't picky. John Green once wrote that everyone has a talent. and I agree. I mean, I don't know where I see myself in the future, or what job is truly what I want to do. But I do know that everyone is so passionate about something that they are genius in one respect.

Even me.

So, thank you, Powell. For making me realise this, I am ever most grateful.

Mood: Pretty good. I feel like I should have something more here, for I am going back to my senses tomorrow. I'm pretty happy for May, though. I love the month of May, I really do. I'm ready for this. This month will be better.

Listening to: Cynicism- Nana Grizol (The above quoted song)

Last thing I ate: ? Great way to end, Liz.

Last thing I drank: Water. Another exciting revelation.

Currently reading: Looking for Alaska by John Green and Fahrenheit 451 by Ray Bradbury

"This is a whole new branch of nerdiness." April 29- BEDA- Day 29

Despite being grounded, today was actually pretty good.

See, I hung out with some pretty extreme nerds. Probably the nerdiest nerds I know- D&D nerds.

And while I have no grasp on D&D, I actually enjoyed spending time with them. I'll probably never play, but nevertheless.

Actually, I might play if another opportunity rolls around. might. (Hear that, Trevor? Might.)

Anyway, as you guys know, I'm reading Fahrenheit 451 right now and I'm super conflicted by the main character. He's something of an anti-hero. And I adore anti-heroes, and I love writing them. I think there is something really amazing to be said about authors who can make people identify with people who aren't really great people. People who run from problems, or people who burn books, or any anti-hero. No one wants to admit that they're like Holden Caulfeild- he's not the guy you want to be or the guy you want to be with. But there's a little bit of Holden in all of us, and no one wants to admit it. But that doesn't change the fact that it's true. That's why it think anti-heroes are so great. They force us to see things in ourselves that no one wants to see.

Mood: Good

Listening to: Broken Cityscapes- Nana Grizol

Last thing I ate: String cheese

Last thing I drank: Diet coke

Currently reading: Looking for Alaska by John Green and Fahrenheit 451 by Ray Bradbury

"Snuggles the Anal Bead Bear." April 28, 2011- BEDA- Day 28

Despite my love for instruments, poetry, reading, writing, video games and the Internet, I'm not much of an introvert. I'm fairly talkative (when I know what to say) and I don't have a hugely hard time trusting people.

But that's the thing. I get to amazingly attached to people that I don't know what to do with myself. I've always kind of wanted to be less trusting. Love and trust seems a little bit like a gateway to Get-Hurt-A lot-Ville.
And that's a real city.

A real shitty city, at that.

Mood: juyhrtgd

Listening to: Condition 11:11- Defiance Ohio

Last thing I ate: Homemade potato soup leftovers

Last thing I drank: Diet coke

Currently reading: Fahrenheit 451- Ray Bradbury

"I want your body." "IN MY MOUTH." April 27, 2011- BEDA- Day 27

So...

It's midnight. I KNOW, GUYS. I know. You're disappoint, and I'm disappoint too. But I feel asleep and now...

I have no excuse, okay.

Anyway, somebody asked me what my favorite quotes are. And due to my time crunch here, I'm going to make this post all of those.

"When you run out of questions you don’t just run out of answers. You run out of hope.”

Dr. Thirteen, House.

“Imagining the future is a kind of nostalgia. You spend your whole life stuck in the labyrinth, thinking about how you’ll escape it one day, and how awesome it will be, and imagining that future keeps you going, but you never do it. You just use the future to escape the present.”

John Green

“Maybe there is hope in fragments, that what is lost can always be filled in by someone who knows.”

David Levithan

"Literature is a luxury; fiction is a necessity."

CS Lewis

 

"To live is the rarest thing in the world. Most people exist, that is all"

Oscar Wilde

You forget all of it anyway. First, you forget everything you learned - the dates of the Hay-Herran Treaty and the Pythagorean Theorem. You especially forget everything you didn’t really learn, but just memorized the night before. You forget the names of all but one or two of your teachers, and eventually you’ll forget those, too. You forget your junior class schedule and where you used to sit and your best friend’s home phone number and the lyrics to that song you must have played a million times. For me, it was something by Simon & Garfunkel. Who knows what it will be for you? And eventually, but slowly, oh so slowly, you forget your humiliations - even the ones that seemed indelible just fade away. You forget who was cool and who was not, who was pretty, smart, athletic, and not. Who went to a good college. Who threw the best parties. Who could get you pot. You forget all of them. Even the ones you said you loved, and even the ones you actually did. They’re the last to go. And then once you’ve forgotten enough, you love someone else.

 

Gabrielle Zevin
That last one is from a brilliant book called Memoirs of a Teenage Amnesic and I defiantly recommend it.

Mood: Good

Last thing I ate: Homemade potato soup

Last thing I drank: Diet coke

Currently reading: Fahrenheit 451 by Ray Bradbury

"I understand." April 26, 2011- BEDA- Day 26

That phrase right there, I understand, is the single best thing to be told. When someone goes out of their way to hug you and tell you that they understand, it's really the best feeling. That's why I love my friends, really. Austin and Trevor are particularly good at this.

To change subjects, this week's Glee featured that characters wearing a shirt that showcased their biggest insecurity. We've known about this for about a month, and I think I've finally decided on what mine will say. It's been really interesting to watch people on Tumblr post theirs. A few I've seen are 'Numb' 'Shy' 'Not Girly' 'Green-Eyed Monster' 'Talks too much'

Mine has changed a lot from things like 'Young & Naive' to 'Doesn't know what she wants'.

But now I really think I have it.

'Issues'

On that note, I leave you with one of my favorite quotes from Charles Bukowski:

"She's mad, but she's magic."

Listening to: Diamonds Theme- Defiance Ohio

Last thing I ate: Ramen with soy sauce

Last thing I drank: Nintendo Capri Sun

Currently reading: Poetry! I've got books on the way, though. So this is subject to change soon enough.

Mood: Good

"You sound like a dying seal." April 25, 2011- BEDA- Day 25

Don't you love when school gets in the way of blogging?
I don't.
Mood: Unamused
Listening to: Nothing
Last thing I ate: Grilled cheese
Last thing I drank: Capri Sun
Currently reading: Poetry

"No Navi. I didn't know how to OPEN A FUCKING DOOR." April 24, 2011- BEDA- DAY 24

To stay up late and kiss and experiment. I’m always being told that teenagers are at least a little invincible, and that now is when I should fuck up. You live and you learn, and no one is blaming the teenagers.

I wish I could live by that. Every word I type or say is studied because I’m scared.

I hate being scared.

I hate being the scared little girl.

You know what else I hate?

Everyone on Tumblr is so judgemental. And I’m so judgemental.

Everyone is so fucking phony, and here I am being the worst of them all.

I’m tired of the teachers, and the students and my parents. I’m tired of hating myself but not being able to help it. This is not worth it.

Mood: Fairly good, actually. Just ranty.

Listening to: Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time. I'm live blogging while playing that on my Tumblr.

Last thing I ate: ?

Last thing I drank: Coke

Currently reading: Poetry

"Ah, nuggets. My sweet, sweet, sweet nuggets." April 23, 2011- BEDA- Day 23

I can feel the summer approaching. I can taste the lazy days, and I can smell the anticipation for Fiddler on the Roof already. We have a month and seven school days left, and then pure laziness. I can ignore calls and pull allnighters with Rissa and video chat with Adam.

It's sunny and I'm lying on my bed with my laptop, blogging. I'm listening to The Killers, which was my music love over the summer. I have (no joke) twenty five diet coke cans from the past five months, I'm ignoring and very important assignment and staying up until 3 in the morning. Last night I watch Hercules while playing Super Smash brothers.

The meter of how many fucks I give is officially in summer mode.

I'll read, and write and game all day and all of this stress will melt into nothing. At least for a while.

Needless to say, I'm excited.

I know summer's not all summer and rainbows, but I'm ready.

Mood: Neutral
Listening to: Raise Your Glass- Glee
Last thing I ate: French fries
Last thing I drank: Sprite
Currently reading: We're Going To Mars/ Quilting the Black-Eyed Pea by Nikki Giovanni and Alone With Everybody by Charles Bukowski.

"And I wonder, what did they do with the bodies?" April 22, 2011- BEDA- Day 22

"Are you who you were one year ago?"

So, at first glance, this is stupid question. A year is a long time, of course I've changed. But let's really think about it.

It's nearly my year anniversary on Tumblr, and that's had such a huge impact on me and my happiness. A year ago I found a place where I could be totally myself- and I was. I had inside jokes, and amazing friends. They kept me constantly laughing, and still do. I love them, and I mean it. And maybe Tumblr can't be that for me anymore, but I still love them. And the fact that IRL friends are on my blog can't change it's impact.

A year ago in my life I was in a terrible place. My best friend hated me, I hated my family, I hated school, I hated myself.

But the combination of people like Jill and Jenny, and the internet gave me a place to be myself. And I am forever grateful.

You know it's weird how much something so little can change people. Little communities of people, my small groups of people on the internet changed my life forever.

Weird isn't it?

Mood: Neutral

Listening to: Everyone Else on the Other Side- Defiance Ohio

Last thing I ate: Grilled mushrooms

Last thing I drank: ? Water, I think. Maybe not

Currently reading: We're Going To Mars/ Quilting the Black-Eyed Pea by Nikki Giovanni and Alone With Everybody by Charles Bukowski. (Thanks for the recommendation!) We had to pick poems for school soo...

"I hate you. I could have made it these past few years without you. Totally." April 21, 2011

I don't have a topic today, I'm sorry. But it's 11:11 and I have headache. But sometime this week I'll being doing a review of Portal 2, so all my gamers can look forward to that. Sorry for this being so blarg. I'll make up for it tomorrow.

Here, have a short story:

Here was never home for me. The clank of my older sister’s heels was not the soundtrack of my life and the coos of the birds outside were not my alarm clock. I’d been here three days and I missed the city. I missed the noise, the lights, and the familiar sounds of dancer’s feet above my head. There’s still room in my two bedroom apartment, but that empty space is more of a home than this. Cook books lined the walls of the kitchen, but they were no replacement for the fiction that filled my shelves at home.

                This has never been security. This has never been safety and acceptance. This has never been home. But maybe I’ll have to learn to accept that.

Mood: Meh
Listening to: Nothing, actually
Last thing I ate: Ramen with soy sauce
Last thing I drank: Good, old water
Currently reading: ... I really need something to read.

"I want a portable fountain of Chex Mix." April 20, 2011- BEDA- Day 20- Earth Day

I'm not a stoner. I did not celebrate 4/20 and I don't ever plan to. Today is a much more important than that. I know that a lot of you are too young to remember the Colombine school shootings- but that doesn't take away it's importance.

On April 20, two boys shot and killed 13 people, directly injured 23 and then killed themselves. There is no excuse for this, none. But these boys were tormented. So maybe today is a piece of stoner culture, but also remember those who died- and those who are picked on. Remember what you can be doing to someone sometimes

I know that nobody wants to think about things like this. This is tough and upsetting stuff, and really terrible. But we have to study it.

I know this post is short, but I think it gets the point across.

Mood: ...

Listening to: A video by Lev.

Last thing I ate: Onion rings

Last thing I drank: Nintendo Capri Sun

Currently reading: Nothing- just writing. But I'd love recommendations.

"Gave my baby back" April 19, 2011- BEDA- Day 19

I'm tired of this. I'm tired of being mistreated because I am smaller or younger than my friends. Yeah, I'm younger. And maybe that makes me not as smart, or not as worthy as Hippo or Trevor or Austin, but I am a human being. And when you make snide comments to my face with no shame it shows just what kind of person you are.

I know I've made mistakes. I know I lied and I know I fucked up. I know it's not easy for you to to trust people. But I have tried really hard to imagine you complexly, and I would think you of all people would do the same. You don't have to like me, but you need to stop being a hypocrite and and attempt to put yourself in someone else's freaking shoes. I've worked hard to be nice to you. And maybe giving someone the same respect they give you is hard for you, but you ought to try it out.

You're always bitching about people, hating when they talk about you behind their backs.

Maybe you should look in the mirror.

I'm done with wanting to be someone else.

I'm done with all of this.

Mood: Ugh

Listening to: Dead Boy's Girlfriend- Hank Green

Last thing I ate: Pasta and zucchini

Last thing I drank: Cola

Currently reading: Nothing, really. I need to decide on a book later.

"I just fangirled a freaking key off my laptop." Apirl 18, 2011- BEDA- Day 18

So, I don't know how many of you play Portal, but here's the idea:

Set in the world of Half-Life—though when in that world is unclear—in Portal you play a woman named (according to Wikipedia) Chell, who had been signed up for a research project  done by Aperture Science.  All we know is that she wakes up in a test chamber, the first of 19 in the experiment. Her job is to get from the entrance to the exit of each. This is more challenging than it sounds, but Aperture has thoughtfully provided a“Portal Gun.” This gun fires blue and orange doorways into flat surfaces. Walk into one, come out the other. Simple!

Not really.

Your test proctor is a computer called GLaDOS, and from the start she's a little weird. "Have I lied to you yet in this chamber?" Yeah, GLaDOS. That's how you start a friendship. Geez. But her voice is your only companion in these creepy as hell test chambers. Well, except your companion cube. He's your real friend. Each chamber has windows through which observers might peer, but there are never any people behind the glass. Only her cameras watch you. In some rooms, you’ll discover cracks in the set pieces and see frightening evidence that other subjects have died in this experiment...

Comforting

So, basically you play as Chell going through these tests. You get a real friend, (who you later incinerate) the companion cube, and GLaDOS seems to want to be your friend. She offers cake, she'll even sing. But she also lies. Beneath GLaDOS's cold, metal exterior, lies a sad little puppy. Who also wants to kill you to over throw a company- Black Mesa. (See: Half Life)

Anyway, this game is so much more than a puzzle game and it's defiantly recommended. You go behind that game, into the game- if you will. I am most impressed with it, and I am SO STOKED for Portal 2. I'm so happy that I in fact key bored mashed and made my 'Windows' key come off, and go into my top. I got it back on, though. So it's all good.

Mood: Neutral

Listening to: Skype

Last thing I ate: Ramen. Surprised, are you not?

Last thing I drank: Diet coke

Currently reading: Poetry, particularly Emily Dickinson and Robert Browning.

"Sing in some alien key" April 17, 2011- BEDA- Day 17

I'm guessing that most of you are at the age where you grew up alongside Disney. And I'm part of that group too, however I can't help but feel out of place. Most people will go back and watch those movies and become overwhelmed with nostalgia. And sure I have my favorites, Alice in Wonderland, Monsters Inc, etc... but I don't share the same feeling. Recently I watched Aladdin with Johnny, Sarah and Hippo and was rather startled at the fact that I remembered basically none of it. Upon discovering this, I went to my mother  who said that I never really liked Disney films.
There's this weird nostalgia that enters the room when you pop in Toy Story or The Lion King that I hate missing out on. There's also the terrible feeling you get when you have to admit it to people, especially after telling them that for about 5 years you went to Disney World every February.

I guess for me it's hard to get really attached to a movie. Especially those about things that I really don't agree with now- at least for the most part.

Mood: Meh

Listening to: A Stray Ally Cat video

Last thing I ate: Ramen with soy

Last thing I drank: Water

Currently reading: More poetry

"The club can't even handle me right now" April 16- VEDA- Day 16

gam·er- A person who plays a game

Dictionary.com

Gaming has always been around. Every society in the world has had games of some kind, but now gaming is everywhere. It's a normal part of our culture, and in the span of a few decades it's grown rapidly. And now with the 3DS, it's getting even bigger. Gaming is a multi-million dollar industry, which is a huge step from what it used to be- something for lone computer nerds. What used to be an escape for social rejects is bringing us together and changing society brilliantly.

Games are something that have been around forever. Just because games evolve, doesn't mean we should reject them.

 Mood: Content

Listening to: A Laci Green video

Last thing I ate: Vanilla ice cream

Last thing I drank: Water

Currently reading: Poetry!

"I tired to give you a thumbs up, but..." April 15, 2011- BEDA- Day 15

There's something that comes along with studying WWII, and that's noticing that violence is kind of the answer. It’s not often, but sometimes it is.

In WW11 we had a goon-face trying to racially purify the world. And violence was the answer. You can not reason with evil. Think of the French and American Revolutions. If  you're pissy with your governing body, you grab your pitchfork and get a new freaking government.

Our forefathers didn’t walk up to the people denying their rights and say “Pardon me, corrupt aristocracy would you mind giving us the people your rights? That’d be just nee-to. If you guys could get around to that in the next couple of years, okay? Thanks, bro”

No.

Mood: Neutral
Currently listening: A Little Big Plant 2 Let's Play
Last thing I ate: Ramen noodles with soy
Last thing I drank: Orange Nintendo Capri Sun

Currently reading: More poetry, really enjoying Robert Browning.

"Your pants are pertetually attracted to the floor?" April 14, 2011- BEDA- Day 14

Today, today, today. The first offical day of music fest and everything is in full swing. Students are everywhere, everyone's signing and dancing. It's a great air, despite it's stress. Plus everyone is around after school. I spent a ton of time with Garret, Sarah and John, as well as seeing Tits and Austin. I really love the mood that music puts people in. People are singing their words instead of talking, and everyone's generally happier. I love that sense of community people get around Music Fest. And even though I can't paricipate this year, I love knowing the joy people get from this.

Community is a word that's thrown around a lot. But this really makes me know that it's real, and all around me.

Mood: Content

Listening to: A Pokemon White Let's Play

Last thing I ate: An orange

Last thing I drank: ?

Reading: About Robert Browning, getting ready to read some of his stuff, upon recommendation from an anonymous. Thanks for the recommendation!

"Not Wisconsin!" April 13, 2011- BEDA- Day 13

So, every year in South East Alaska, high schools hold 'Music Festival.' There are seven schools, and they travel to one host school and spend four days there (Housing with the students of that school) playing and listening to music. No classes, just workshops, performances and soaking in talent. Well, this year our school is hosting and seeing all the students, and the love for music has made me realise why I love it. And it's also pissed me off, because I know kids all over the world will never get this because music is always the first thing to be cut from the budget. Music is so important to so many kids, yet so few get to practise it.

Music is academic

Reading music, knowing notes, or even just taking the time to practise singing instills great things in kids. Studies show that music improves grades and are generally happier. It's been proven that kids who play instruments or sing have higher grade point averages and participate better in class.

A 1998 study published in the science journal Nature Neuroscience even showed that musical training enlarges the brain. And schools that are rich in music have a much higher graduation and college success rate.

Music is emotional

Music gives kids a whole new form of expression. It can release stress, and cause kids to make new friends, which in return can make them happier. Music can improve confidence and make kids more comfortable with themselves, and give them a sense of pride and achievement.

Music stays with someone forever

Maybe kids after school won't continue to play, but they'll never forget the experience and they will never forget it's impact on their lives. And studies show that music helps the brain better organize things and improves memory. Some research has also shown that music can help with a number of diseases, including depression.

So why is it okay to take it away?

Mood: Meh

Listening to: What If- Coldplay

Last thing I ate: Ramen with soy sauce

Last thing I drank: Sierra Mist soda

Currently reading: Poetry!

"She deep throated me." April 12, 2011- BEDA- Day 12

Okay, so before I start this, I know I said I had a topic for today. But I had a pretty bad day, and I really don't feel like blogging. I'm frustrated and upset, so I will get that post up again later this week.
While I do love topical blogging, I'm going to try and do a couple personal blogs a week. I feel like documenting my day was a the goal of this project, but it's nice to have a break.
Anyway, it's midnight soo...
Mood: ...
Listening to: A Little Big Planet 2 Let's Play
Last thing I ate: White bread
Last thing I drank: Diet coke
Currently reading: Poetry!

"I want play with your teeth." Apirl 11, 2011-BEDA- Day 11

Hey, guys. It's really late and I've just gotten done with my homework so there won't be a blog today. I do, however have a topic to get picked for tomorrow. So, be looking forward to that and have a great night.
Mood: Neutral
Listening to: Nothing! I'm reading, so...
Last thing I ate: ?
Last thing I drank: Diet coke
Currently reading: Poetry!

"FANTA STICK." April 10, 2011- BEDA- Day 10

“I have hated words and I have loved them, and I hope I have made them right.”

Marcus Zusak- The Book Thief

There's something really remarkable to be said about authors, particularly poets. It takes fearlessness to write knowing that it could interrupted in a million different ways. But that's the beauty of writing, isn't it? One poem could mean a different thing for thousands upon millions everywhere. Millions of meaning for one poem, isn't that amazing? We could read a poem over and over, and wonder and think and analyse it, but we could never truly know what the poet was thinking. That's why books live on so much longer than video games. They both tell a story, but a video will lose that wonder. Books can have the same magic, generation after generation.

I think that's why so people idolise authors. So many people spend so much time worrying about death that they forget record the fact they ever lived. And so they grab bits and pieces of other people's writing and try to twist other's lying memories into their lives.

Mood: Stressed

Listening to: Conversations with Dead People- Danielle Ate the Sandwich

Last thing I ate: Sauteed mushrooms, onions and peppers

Last thing I drank: Diet Pepsi

Currently reading: Little bits of poetry

"I am Satan, Lord of Darkness" April 9, 2011- BEDA- Day 9

If you've been anywhere on the Internet, you've heard Rebecca Black's Friday. And let's face it, the song's terrible. But if thirteen year old you were offered a job as a professional singer, you'd take it. She didn't even write that song, or have any control over it.

Now, shortly after this was released another music video by the same company came out called My Jeans. This was the same stupid writing and directing, but it was kids having fun and being kids. Talking about Kiki Palmer, and buying jeans. No harm done, right?

But it only got worse. Over the past few week the same girl from My Jeans, Jenna Rose, was in another video. And this is where is stopped being fun and started being down right wrong. Entitled as 'Jenna Rose as the Teen Boom Boom Doll.' But that's just the issue. She's not a teenager at all. She's twelve years old, and she's bopping around in Victoria's Secret angel-like lingerie. This video's all about the hip shaking and the booty shorts. But the thing is, 12-year-olds are not, and will never be sexy. She's shaking her ass, and singing things like, 'Oh my God, She looks good. Oh my God, you wish you could.' Not only does typing this whole thing make me feel gross, but it really scares me. Parading girls around and teaching them that sexy dancing and and lingerie is what's 'sexy' is not a positive thing. Girls at this age need to discover sexuality on their own, and they need to see that 'sexy' is not defined by things like this.

I love new media. I'm a new media fan-girl, and I could preach to you about it all damn day. But this is not what new media should be about. This is the OPPOSITE of where we as a society should be going. We need to teach kids how to be (To use Lacy Green's term) sex positive. This is not sex positive. This is exploitation of a child. You know what kind of things go hand-in-hand with this? Child prostitution? Child porn? And it's very clearly not there yet, but it doesn't make it okay.

I don't want my children growing up with this twisted idea of sexuality. Sexuality goes right along with self-esteem, which no girl with have if we keep this idea in the media.

Mood: What kind of mood would you be in after watching that video?
Listening to: We Think We Know You- Bo Burnham
Last thing I ate: Raw pasta noodles
Last thing I drank: Moutain Dew: Voltage
Currently reading:  The last couple chapters of The Lost Symbol by Dan Brown

"I STILL LOVE YOU." April 8, 2011- BEDA- Day 8

Today I got an e-mail. I know, exciting right? Anyway, it was about self-harm and television. I know, that this isn't something anyone really wants to read about, and I know it's still pretty taboo. Unlike being LGBTQ, or being bullied, or having drug/ alcohol abuse issues, self-harm is something most TV shows will never go near. Even Glee, a show know for touching on the touchiest of subjects will probably never discuss this. And I can understand why it's taboo generally. But when placed next to the issues that are normal to TV nowadays, I can't see why it's considered so hard to talk about. If you can talk about gender confused kids, the LGBTQ community, teen pregnancy, questioning sex, all of these things, than self harm shouldn't be an issue. But people don't want to admit it happens. All of those issues said before have happened so often to stars that shows can't help but talk about them. But self-harm is some thing that so many people do, yet so few people ever stop to think about. In short, yes I'd like for a show to discuss self-harm. No, I don't think it will happen anytime soon. 

This e-mailer asked another question about the inappropriateness of some older cartoons.

These shows were made for children, yet. have so many adult jokes. Take this list of inappropriate jokes from the show 'Rocko's Modern Life' for example. But before you criticize Nick, remember what it was like to watch those shows. Oh? You don't remember those jokes? Oh? You didn't understand them then? Think about the demographic Nick is reaching out to. The kids who watched that show would never understand, or even remember those jokes. The writers were just making themselves laugh. And it clearly didn't do much harm. I mean, what 20-something is complaining about Jessica Rabbit's appearance in Who Framed Roger Rabbit?

TV Tropes loves to eat this stuff up. Admittedly, they can be a little stupid. Like oh, Banjo- Kazooie has sexual references? Whoa, major breakthrough. it's not as if we're dealing with RareWare or anything. But, basically they have a page on every show, game and movie you loved as a child.

Rocko's Modern Life
Spongebob Square Pants
Pokemon (For the games and the anime)
Digimon
Pixar Films
Animal Crossing
The Brave Little Toaster
Hey Arnold
Mood: Neutral
Listening to: Everyone Else on the Other Side- Defiance Ohio
Last thing I ate: Macaroni noodles with soy sauce
Last thing I drank: ? I don't really remember, to be honest
Currently reading: The last couple chapters of The Lost Symbol by Dan Brown, and Milkweed by Jerry Spinelli. We're only reading Milkweed during class, in Social Studies, so it'll probably be on this list for a while.

"Your jugs are great." April 7, 2011- BEDA- Day 7

Today was not a good one. It was the day my friends discovered that my name rhymes with 'Jizz'

Lovely, I know. I spent the afternoon with Sarah, Johnny and Hippo, and then Johnny and I worked on Fantastic Mr. Fox. Being a backstage badger is actually a lot of fun. Especially when getting to work with such lovely people, and being able to watch such awesome actors. Alec, the kid playing the lead, is my age and pretty damn adorable. He's a great actor, getting to watch him act is always a treat. And seeing all of the people I love, and all of the parts of the theater that I miss this time of year is great.

Things like this are timeless. One doesn't forget the times they spend with us theater geeks.

Speaking of geeks, my Threadless shirts came in today and I love them. Gunnar and I agreed that getting Threadless shirts is one of the best things. The excitement when you get that package is awesome.

Mood: ...
Listening to: Oh Bo- Bo Burnham
Last thing I ate: Chow Mien noodles
Last thing I drank: Nintendo Capri Sun
Currently reading: The Last Symbol by Dan Brown for pleasure, and Milkweed by Jerry Spinelli for school.

"Remember when you asked if we wanted to lick gums?" April 6, 2011- BEDA- Day 6

I don't know how old you guys are, or how many of you are gamers, but imagine the games you loved as a child. Super Mario Bros, The Legend of Zelda, Super Smash Bros, Banjo-Kazooie, Metroid, Earthbound, Mother, Spyro, Mega-Man. Stick to NES, SNES, and N64.
Now imagine the games you play now. We've still got most of those, plus things like Harvest Moon, Pikmin, Animal Crossing, Assassin's Creed, Little Big Planet, Portal, Final Fantasy.
Now imagine your kids playing videos games. The games that are old to us won't even be a part of their lives. No matter how hard you try, you kids will never be impressed by Majora's Mask, or Pokemon: Blue. Sonic will no longer be any form of amusement, and Mario Party will be a thing long forgotten. We're growing up in a new generation of gamers, and new media is expanding like crazy. We're one of the first generations to grow up alongside technology like this We're done with bit wars, and onto 3D in such a short matter of time. And this is only the start. Going back and playing the games that filled my youth, and listening to music that was stuck in my head before people like Katy Perry or Ke$ha is great. To me, it seems as if gaming won't get better than my childhood, and having my children live without it is a terrible thought. But I know it can't last forever. One day my SNES, N64 and Game Boy Color will fizzle out and I will have lost all of that joy. Mario Kart, Luigi's Mansion, Donkey Kong, Yoshi's Island will all be gone. Can you even imagine?
Mood: ?
Listening to: Wind Waker: Unplugged by FreddeGredde
Last thing I ate: Baked mushrooms.
Last thing I drank: Diet Pepsi
Currently reading: The Last Symbol by Dan Brown for pleasure, and Milkweed by Jerry Spinelli for school.

"Omnomnom, Ashley's stomach." April 5, 2011- BEDA- Day 5

Hope      "Hope is the thing with feathers That perches in the soul, And sings the tune--without the words, And never stops at all, And sweetest in the gale is heard; And sore must be the storm That could abash the little bird That kept so many warm. I've heard it in the chillest land, And on the strangest sea; Yet, never, in extremity, It asked a crumb of me."

Hope- Emily Dickinson
A Day With No Shoes was successful! Of course, I had to wear them for school, but other then that I was completely barefoot and it felt awesome. I did have on lapse, when we had to get food, but I don't count that. Major props to those who did. This is the second year I've done this, and that marks a year I've known Jill. It's actually really scary thinking about how long it's been. I remember awkwardly walking and talking to Hippo today, last year. She'd just left and I was lonely, but we still had to walk the same way. So we chatted, and I remember feeling incredibly hurt, but still talking. And I was really glad I didn't have to go through that today.
This week's a major testing week, so we don't have homework and I therefore have no excuse for not blogging. BEDA didn't work out last year, but I know it will this year. This past year has been so magnificent, and I'm eternally grateful that you've been here to help me document it.
This whole project, the whole year and a half I've been doing it, has changed me a lot. And it's taught me a lot of things that I don't know if I'd have otherwise.
Mood: Fairly content.
Listening to: A YouTube video from a guy called Lev. I've watched all of his videos at least sixteen times, they're amazing. He illustrates his own thoughts, but this one is the exception. It's his favorite artist advice form others, as illustrated by him. He's one of my favorite people and I highly recommend you check him out.
Last thing I ate: Ranch Thin Wheats, not as tasty as I had once hoped.
Last thing I drank: Splash Cooler Nintendo Capri Sun
Currently reading: Sleepwalking in Daylight by Elizabeth Flock for pleasure, and Milkweed by Jerry Spinelli for school.

"MERICA" April 4, 2011- BEDA- Day 4

"Nerds,
The faggots,
The spastic fat chicks who,
Sit in the back with no one to do their lab with,
Nerds,
The kid with acne,
And tons of proactiv,
Packed inside his backpack,
I got your back, kid

She stood in line and got cut,
Tried out, got cut,
Loved art, but the budget got cut,
Then she got numb but she only felt when she knelt and cut"

Nerds- Bo Burnham

I'm sorry this is so late, my insomnia hit last night and I literally didn't go to bed all last night. And then I came home and crashed after getting to be a techie with Johnny and Hippo. That was lovely, we made tutus and ate pizza with the cute techie boy, Spencer.
But what I really want to talk about today is something that you should have heard me talk about before. A Day With No Shoes is something put on by TOMS Shoes in order to raise awareness for the kids in third world countries without shoes.
If you keep food in your cabinets, clothes in a closet, a bed to sleep in, and a roof over your head, you're 75% richer than the entire world population.
Right now you have all of those things, plus more if you're on the Internet. Kids have to walk whole miles, barefoot just to get water. Something I have sitting a little more than a foot away from me right now. And while I'm not allowed to be doing this at school, I will be walking all around town to show my support and raise awareness. I hope you'll join me.
Mood:  Meh.
Listening to: Bo Burnham- Nerds Bo was one of my first YouTubes, and my number one music obsession for a long time. But up until I re listened to New Math, I had pretty much grown out of him. I am so back into that obsession. That song, Nerds is one of his serious songs, and it's beautiful.. I actually recommend reading the lyrics (here) while listening, so you can really understand the song. It hasn't been released so the only versions are those of him performing it live.
Last thing I ate: Sun Chips, at lunch. Healthy, I know.
Last thing I drank: Water. Which I'm actually really thankful for.
Currently reading: Sleepwalking in Daylight by Elizabeth Flock for pleasure, and Milkweed by Jerry Spinelli for school.

"Dirty, little freaks" April 3, 2011- BEDA- Day 3

I'm sorry if that post yesterday was a little much. I said what was on my mind, and that was it. And I can't promise that I won't blog about death again. I know it's not the most fun thing to read about, but it's been on my mind a lot. Can you blame me?
I had a blast today, spending all of my time awake procrastinating. I still have Science to do, and a room to clean, and a DVR to empty. But I'm not doing that, and I probably won't until the last minute. I'm fairly relaxed about everything but my room, mainly because I have to actually see my bedroom. Even then, I am not motivated enough. To quote the song I'm listening to,

"I'm all alone, but I don't really care at all, not answering my phone"

The phone thing is really true, too. I'm sorry if you've texted or called me, but from what I've gathered, most everyone slept all through the day. Oh well, more power to them.
Mood: Neutral
Listening to: Blackbird- Glee Cast Cover
Last thing I ate: Homemade macaroni and cheese, for dinner.
Last thing I drank: Water. Boring, I know.
Currently reading: Sleepwalking in Daylight by Elizabeth Flock

"Carpe Diem." April 2, 2011- BEDA- Day Two

Seize the day.

There's this moment after someone dies where you don't want to think, or feel. Your brain can't contemplate the fact that someone, a whole person, is completely gone. I remember the first time I had to deal with this, it was when Micheal Jackson died. I didn't care much about him when he was alive, but it was the first time where somebody I had heard of had died, and I have old enough to be told and understand that. And I remember when JD Salinger died, and having to think about the world loosing one of it's best, and most hurt, minds. And wondering if he was ready, if he wanted to go.
I didn't have a personal gravel with death until the summer. When Esther died, I was pulling an all-nighter, and I randomly logged onto Twitter for the first time in months. Shawn of the Uncultured Project had tweeted about it. And at first I didn't believe it. No body wants to believe they've lost someone. But the most I checked, the more clear it became. I remember Tumbling and Daily Boothing in search of somebody to talk to. Nobody I knew in real life knew her, and everyone was sleeping. It was 3:00 am when she passed on the 25th of August, 2010, just eighteen days after her sixteenth birthday.
And you'd think after all of that I'd be better equipped to handle death again. But with Esther, I was alone. At least in real life, and now I have to see it's effect on my mother, and siblings, my grandparents. And I have to act like I'm okay. Death is so different in real life. It takes people by their hinges and rips them apart. After loosing a person, nobody knows how to act. You're not okay, and you don't want to talk about it. But before you can move on, you have to take death and and show it that you can put yourself back together. Just give it time.
Mood: I don't even know guys. Nobody really does at times like this.
Listening to: Gerudo Valley from The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time
Last thing I ate: Pizza and franch fries for dinner.
Last thing I drank: Diet Pepsi.
Currently reading: The Last Book In The Universe by Rodman Philbrick

"BITCH TITS" April 1, 2011- BEDA- Day One

It's 9:54 and I am on Hippo's bedroom floor whilst she and Sarah attempt to sleep. I really  don't want to type so I'll just do my ending. Sorry guys!
Mood: Nervous. Don't want to wake Hippo or Sarah.
Listening to: Me type, I've got headphones but I'll take up the bandwidth with music.
Last thing I ate: These deep fried bread things, yummy!
Last thing I drank: Soda...
Currently reading: The Last Book In The Universe by Rodman Philbrick